As the party season starts and spring is in the air, your might be feeling that the promise of new relationship beckons. Perhaps you’re looking for some summer fun, a fling or two, or you’ve decided it’s time to make yourself available for something more durable than the brief glow of an Ibiza sunset.
There’s much talk in healing circles on Ibiza these days about “conscious relationship” and a feeling that many are looking for “something more”.
If you, like many I know, you have become jaded with how your previous relationships, or even your current one, have turned out, you might want to consider a different approach to relationship that has the potential to bring you
The key concept of a “conscious relationship”, is that it’s based on a healthy commitment to yourself . Therelationship to yourself is the foundation your connections to others – so you start there in order to then form a relationship with another.
1. Healthy relationship starts with you – heal yourself first!
Your relationship patterns are a direct reflection of your relationship to yourself. If you are abundantly self loving, you’re more likely to attract kind and loving people to your life. If your boundaries are strong, you will attract respect. On the flip side, if you are riddled with insecurities, you’ll likely attract people who criticise you and see your flaws unkindly.
A sign that you might have unresolved issues that are affecting your relationships is when you notice that “I keep having the same relationship problems” again and again, even with different partners.
I invite you to take this as a sign that would benefit from clearing your emotional patterns. Taking time to work with your issues before you step back into dating will be the best possible investment in your relationship future.
2. Become your own source of love
This is perhaps the MOST important key for a conscious relationship that I can share with you. If you can crack this, you have done more to create happy, fulfilled relationships than most people on this planet!
So many relationships start when two people are looking to fill their cup of love with each other – and seeing each other as the source of love.
I invite you into the habit of filling yourself from the inside transforms your life. Your heart is a steady fountain of love – once you tap into you have more love than you could ever need – and plenty to share with the person you meet!
3. Be responsible for your feelings
Let’s face it – painful and uncomfortable emotions such as anger, guilt and shame are a part of life, even when you’re in the most beautiful conscious and connected relationship.
Unfortunately, when you’re not taking full responsibility for yourself, it’s easy to blame and project your emotional states on external factors including your partner – or to hope that your partner will rescue you from feeling them at all.
I invite you to be loving and present with your emotions as and when they come up. When you slow down and sit with how you feel, you can investigate where your emotion comes from, and allow it to transform. Often times it’s an old feeling that’s been triggered, and getting to the bottom of it will help you take responsibility for your reactions to others.
4. Get into your clear sexual polarity or ability for lasting attraction
Here’s a depressing pattern – initial attraction followed by a long decline in sexual attraction or spark. One of the greatest relationship frustrations can be a sense of your sexual attraction “waning off in time.
Your “sexual centre” or the energy of your lower belly including your sexual organs, is the place where you most powerful attract a sexual partner at an energetic level. It’s the foundation of attraction and sexual spark.
There is ideally a very clear polarity, or “opposites attract” effect when a person is in their defined masculine or feminine energy.
However, in recent times we’ve had more and more confusion about which “pole” to inhabit, for example, men may feel guilty about showing up as “strong and decisive”, confusing that with being domineering, and women may associate being “receptive and open” with being unsafe or open to abuse.
I invite you to move into your clear sexual polarity (please note that this is not automatically tied to your gender – you can choose your sexual polarity freely!) in order to help you attract someone who is clearly in theirs – and this is a great recipe for lasting sizzle!
Find out more
There is so much more to conscious relationship. Download your free gift to get more keys and some quick 5 minute practices to start preparing for conscious relationship today!